Take a Risk!

Risk SEDC Show

Last Saturday night I told a very personal story at a show — SpeakeasyDC and Risk! present So Emotional: Stories About Feelings Gone Wild.  I guess it’s been a long time coming but I don’t want to say anything more about the story itself just yet.

Anyway, despite my best efforts to embrace my inner Pete Holmes, I was really stressed out leading up to the show. So I embraced something more practical — a Xanax.

I only took a quarter of one or something, and I think it wore off or my nerves decided that little chill pill had met its match.

I had a bunch of friends in the audience, which was fantastic but also nerve-wracking. I didn’t want to screw up in front of them!

So I tried to take ‘screwing up’ out of the equation. I’m just telling a story. It’s not a performance. I’m just telling a story. Just telling a story. Just telling a story. I said that about 500 zillion times, out loud like a complete weirdo.

I was up and down all evening. Waves of nerves followed by feelings of relative calm.

The show felt like an incredibly intimate night of storytelling. I remember listening to Kevin Bogg’s story and feeling really moved by it, and then I got very, very nervous because I knew I was next.

I thought I might pass out.  I wondered — will someone call an ambulance or will folks just splash some water on my face and tell me to get on with the show? I kept telling myself that everything will be fine but it didn’t work.

Or maybe it did, in fact, because I got up and just told the story. Usually there’s at least a split second where I feel panicked but if all goes well, I keep going and work through it. Saturday night the panic never came. That’s not to say I felt calm and relaxed. I was intensely nervous throughout the entire story but I just told the story anyway. I was in the moment, and it was kind of incredible.

And then it was over and I felt this huge rush of relief. I got to hug my friends, and people came up to me and were so nice. Everyone — storytellers, friends, the audience, our host Kevin Allison — was so supportive and encouraging. It was such an amazing evening. I really just can’t believe it all happened like that. I keep staring at this picture — one moment with some of my super amazing friends — and I am still taking it all in.

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Twitter
  • Google Bookmarks
  • Google Buzz
  • LinkedIn
  • Reddit
  • RSS
  • Tumblr
  • Wikio

About Mamalicious

Writer, storyteller and mother of two living in Washington, DC. Science enthusiast and pop culture vulture. Ally. Feminist. Bitch with the best intentions. Contributor to GroundedParents.com.
This entry was posted in Just Me: Writing and Other Wordy Pursuits and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.