Every year since age four, the beginning of my son’s year looks like this:
1) Begin school.
2) Talk too much in school.
3) Receive dire warnings that talking too much will not be tolerated, and if said behavior continues, television, video games and all other forms of fun will become a dim memory.
4) Continue to talk too much and, for good measure, hit something, bang something, or otherwise escalate.
5) Lose all access to anything fun. This year’s added bonus: write an essay on good class behavior.
6) Reduce talking to levels that are just pushing the bounds of acceptable. Enough to get multiple warnings but not so much that emails or discussions with parents are required.
As we near the end of the first week of school, we find ourselves on step 5.
Each year prior to the beginning of school, we also have a conversation about expectations. And, you know, why don’t we skip this whole silly routine when we both know how this ends.
Yes, as a kid, I always got in trouble for talking too much. And yes, karma is a bitch.