Ah, birth activists.

In case you were wondering, my television fast is going SUPER, thank you! The other day my husband even asked if he could delete the various Real Housewives of Atlanta episodes that were piling up in the DVR queue. I said, yes!

Real Housewives of Miami? Duh.

Watch What Happens Live? Delete it!

Shahs of Sunset? Um. Maybe keep that one for now. I mean, it’s sooo Persian, it’s Saudi, you know what I’m sayin?

The good news is I haven’t watched much of any television in my free time. The bad news is I’ve been spending just a little too much time tracking various internet flame wars. The latest: an epic showdown between the Skeptical OB (Dr. Amy) and the Feminist Breeder that just got LEGAL.

Let’s review the players:

Dr. Amy is a former ob-gyn and skeptical blogger who is critical of home birth.

The Feminist Breeder is a crazy person. Allegedly. Okay, a blogger, doula, birth activist and crazy person. She had her first VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarian section) in a hospital and her second at home on the internet.

What happened:

TFB posts that her newly acquired professional experience as a doula (20 births) has changed her perspective of medical professionals. No longer mere drones in the hospital military industrial birth complex, they now appear to her as actual humans!

In response, Dr. Amy posts — gee TFB, imagine if you had the experience of an OB (i.e., seeing thousands of births)?

So TFB posts a picture of herself flipping Dr. Amy the bird, and includes the statement – you can take this back to your blog. Dr. Amy takes it back to her blog and publishes the picture. TFB sends a letter to Dr. Amy demanding damages and removal of the picture. Dr. Amy’s husband, who just happens to be an attorney, responds that TFB gave Dr. Amy permission to use the picture and, in any event, Dr. Amy’s post is a protected fair use as the photo was published for purposes of critique and commentary. TFB then files a take down notice with Dr. Amy’s host. And another one. Dr. Amy files suit in federal court. The complaint is available here.

Of course, I read the entire complaint. My reaction — Pretty well done (I mean, at least as well done as the RH of Miami reunion), and TFB is screwed. She messed with the wrong bitch.

And that’s what I always read about Dr. Amy. She’s a bitch. Mean. Terrible. Not a real doctor. Funny thing though — I have yet to read an exchange between Dr. Amy and anyone else where her arguments are actually refuted with facts.

Of course, facts are boring. It’s the story that matters. Dr. Amy knows this too — she’s said so plenty of times — and I’m sure she’s hoping the story here will be that home birth activists are willing to play dirty and squelch free speech in order to promote their point of view.

We shall see.

I found Dr. Amy’s blog a couple of weeks before I had my daughter and it completely changed the way I look at almost everything but, in particular, natural birth, home birth, breastfeeding, parenting, health issues…really, any issue in which you can inform yourself by just looking at the evidence. It’s so simple that I don’t understand why evidence-based everything isn’t more appealing.

Then again, I know I’m just like everybody else. I’m also drawn to a narrative. It just happens to be a different one. Maybe I like certainty. Or the rhythm of logic. Or maybe I just choose the doctor over the batshit crazy lady who liveblogged her homebirth.

Could be that last one.