Oops, I almost forgot to write the Things I Didn’t Do This Week. I guess I must have been busy getting a few things done but definitely not any of the following —
1) Let my kids do anything in the kitchen. Because I can only do this with the help of Xanax.
2) Buy pumpkin anything. I don’t approve of this shit in fall LET ALONE MID-AUGUST.
3) Do any sort of DIY anything for back to school. Nope. Didn’t do it.
Is school even starting? Is this even my life? I’ll be at the pool ENJOYING A SEASONALLY APPROPRIATE BEVERAGE.